buying vs renting

When you're going through unemployment, there's a period of "floundering," when you aren't quite sure what to do with yourself, so you reach out for something-- anything-- that might help restore your sense of normalcy and security.

After my husband got laid off, we went through that-- trying to figure out what kind of work he could do, how we could maintain the income we needed, whether or not to pursue various job opportunities...

At the same time, however we wanted to make sure we didn't jump into something simply to establish a false sense of security. We knew God led us to here. We knew God led my husband to work at this specific company. We knew God allowed him to get laid off. Why? Does God want to direct our paths in a totally different direction? If so, how do we go about figuring that out?

A couple weeks ago, we traveled to Minnesota for my husband's grandfather's funeral. As we drove through the barren corn fields of Iowa, we listened to this song:

But if my life is for rent, and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
'Cause nothing I have is truly mine

Hmm... What does that mean? Are we "renting" or "buying" right now? We've often talked to our friends about living without regrets-- but what would that look like for us?

I thought back to the week my husband was laid off. We found ourselves unpacking boxes from our move last September. While he worked through numerous boxes of books and collections (that I laid eyes on for the first time ever), he began carrying on an online debate with a group of atheists. That led to a formal blog debate, in which he and one of the atheists posted back and forth for a total of six times.

While I would have avoided that kind of situation, my husband dove in with great relish. He researched his arguments, discussed them with friends, and mulled over it throughout the day. For the first time in our marriage, he entered a zone where I couldn't quite reach him.

I mentioned that observation to him as we began discussing the concept of "buying." If he enjoyed that mental stimulation, that research, that debating so much... what if that was what God designed him to do? What if he were to go back to school for that specific purpose?

He paused before responding with "Huh."

We sank into silence, him processing the new idea and all its implications and me watching his mind at work.

And so, we have begun praying in this direction. If this is what God created my husband to do, then we want to get ready to "buy."

________________________

For those of you who have been asking about his second interview, it seems to have gone well. He has another one tomorrow and has also submitted his resume to a number of other places. All of these are for temporary positions to tide us over until the summer. Thank you for your love and prayers!